A Condensed (and hilarious) Version of the SCOTUS Arguments on Prop 8

SCOTUS

Don’t have the time to read the full transcripts of the SCOTUS Prop 8 oral arguments?  You’re in luck.  Courtney Milan has made a “Truncated Transcript”.  It is very funny helps us read between the lines of Tuesday’s historic event.

Among my favorites:

BREYER: I’m going to ask you an extremely long question riddled with nonspecific nouns, and you’re going to have to guess what I mean by it.

COOPER: I’m pretty sure the answer is no? But let’s stop talking about whether I should be allowed to talk, and get on to what I’m going to be talking about. Which is: nostalgia. Nostalgia for the good old days of traditional, bedrock values. Man, back in 1971, this Court said there was no federal question as to same-sex marriage. Those were the fuckingdays.

GINSBURG: The Supreme Court hadn’t even recognized gender-based classifications then.

COOPER: Are you harshing on my nostalgia?

FANTASY GINSBURG: I was alive back then, and trust me, I am not feeling particularly nostalgic for the time.

And…

COOPER: Traditional bedrock of society. Let me say the words traditional and bedrock a couple more times. It’s really all about the tradition. And the nostalgia. The tradition of marriage is one of rearing children together, you know. And we don’t want to disrupt society by making marriage about anything else, like love or affection between two adults.

SCALIA: Tell me, Counsel. Gay marriage: Bad for children, or the worst for children?

COOPER: We really don’t know. Gay marriage is so new. We have no evidence. It could be that gay marriage will cause aliens to descend on this planet and eat the flesh of all children under the age of sixteen. Or maybe not. We just don’t know. We have to think of the children.

KENNEDY: This is extremely persuasive to me.

The whole thing is here and definitely worth your time.

 

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