Coming Out to Mickey

I came across this picture on Wipeout Homophobia on Facebook.  It really struck me because coming out is such a difficult thing.  I imagine the first person you do come out to shapes the process for many of us.

For me, it was my friend, Beth.  I was older (45) and was married with 2 teenage kids.  My marriage was good – my wife and I were very close and had a great partnership.  We were aligned in our goals for how to raise the kids, we shared all the responsibilities that goes with raising a family, we were the best of friends.  But I had finally worked though some tough issues and accepted what I had known at a deep level since I was very young.  I was gay.

I was still not comfortable with the idea, so telling someone else was really frightening.  We were on a hike together.  Beth had known I had been struggling with anxiety and depression – she had been an amazing support.  We walked and talked for a bit… just small talk.  The I just said, “I need to tell you something, and I’m scared.”  She replied, “Whatever you have to say, its ok.”  I said, “I’m gay”.  She didn’t even pause and said, “I imagine that feels both scary and freeing to say.”  I started to pour out all the mayhem it was going to cause in my life.  She stopped me and said, “That comes later, let’s talk about how good it must feel to be honest with yourself”.

I loved Beth before, but after that, she became one of the most important people in my life.

Who was the first person you told?  What was their reaction?

 

 

Target Offering Gay Pride T-shirts Online

Update:  I just got mine in the mail!  Thanks Target!

 

Target, perhaps in an attempt to smooth over the damage it caused with the gay community over donating funds to an anti gay GOP candidate last year, is offering Pride T-shirts online.  100% of the proceeds will be donated to the Family Equality Council.

 

Watch: Marriage News Watch June 4, 2012

Great news as DOMA is once again found unconstitutional.  Progress on marriage equality in Illinois, Maryland and Washington State.

 

Funny Skit – 3 men in the Toilet

I saw this video on twitter. It made me smile . Hope you like it!

Jason Alexander’s Apology – Best Ever

Last week, the actor Jason Alexander, probably most famous for playing George on “Seinfeld”, made a few comments on The Late Show with Craig Ferguson that had many in the gay community upset.  To read about the incident and see a video clip, check out towleroad.com.  I try not to include negative material here, so I decided not to mention it.  But then I read his apology.  And what an apology it was.

It seems like every few weeks, someone famous makes some comment that can be taken offensively.  The apologies are usually half-hearted “non apologies” that say they didn’t mean to offend anyone, so people shouldn’t be offended.

Really?  I shouldn’t be offended because you say I shouldn’t?  So many times in my life I’ve heard people exclaim, “He’s too sensitive!”  I heard it in grade school when someone would make a  racist remark and one of the few black would get upset.  ”Don’t be so sensitive!”  When my friend Mark, who was intellectually challenged got upset because someone called him “retard”, he was just “being sensitive.”  Or when my husband asked a friend to stop using the term “gay” pejoratively, he was told, “You are way too sensitive, lighten up.”

Doesn’t it seem like the privileged (that is white, straight males)  are always concerned that the people they are ridiculing are too sensitive (racial minorities, the disabled, women, gays)?

Well Mr. Alexander didn’t say the gay community was  too sensitive.  He pointedly and eloquently apologized and then went on to say why it was so important that he do so.  Below is just a small excerpt.  Read the entire apology here.

For these [gay] people, my building a joke upon the premise I did added to the pejorative stereotype that they are forced to deal with everyday. It is at the very heart of this whole ugly world of bullying that has been getting rightful and overdue attention in the media. And with my well-intentioned comedy bit, I played right into those hurtful assumptions and diminishments.

Hats off to Jason Alexander – too few people own their mistakes, and far fewer make amends so well.

 

 

Tell your guy you love him AND support LGBT youth.

 

"The spaces between your fingers were created so another's could fill them in"

Purchase any card or mug from Homoquotables from now until 6/9/12 and 15% of all proceeds go to the Trevor Project.  The Trevor Project provides crisis intervention and support to LGBT youth 24/7.

It couldn’t be easier – just go to homoqutables.com, place your order and you’re done.

 

Gay Homestays

I love to travel.  Unfortunately, I don’t get much of a chance.  When I do get to travel, I don’t always enjoy staying in a hotel for more than a day or two.  Finding a place with a kitchen and more than one room is ideal, but usually very expensive.

Recently, I have been hearing about Homestays.  The traditional homestay involved housing for a foreign exchange student to find housing with a host family.  The idea is opening up to all types of travelers looking for an alternative to traditional hotel based accommodations.

I came across the company Gay Homestays this week.  The website offers travelors a way to search for homestay opportunities in a variety of cities all over the world.  The host sites are guest rooms in private homes, tourist apartments, gay or gay-friendly bed and breakfast or gay guest house rooms.

Has anyone used a homestay service?  Good experience?

Married People Are Happier… Than Who?

An interesting study out of Michigan State University looked at the question “Are married people happier?”.   They found that married people were not necessarily happier than they were when they were single, but compared to single people of the same age, tended to stay happier over time.  That is, the researchers found that married people are, on the whole happier than they would have been if they had stayed single.

Although they did not study unmarried, cohabitating couples, that would be a great follow up.  Does the security and social acceptance of a marriage play a role in maintaining higher levels of satisfaction, or is it just the fact that people are in committed long-term relationships that keeps those levels from declining as time passes?

The Huffington Post has a Q&A with the study’s authors here.

If you have friends tying the knot soon, find the perfect card at Homoquotables.com.

The Trevor Project Gets 15% of all Proceeds through 6/9/12

For those of you who don’t know,  the Trevor Project provides  crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LBBTQ  youth.  They are an amazing organization that has been saving lives and helping young people gain acceptance, love and support for who they are.

Homoquotables would like to support this wonderful organization.  From now until 6/9/12, 15% of all proceeds from sales of cards and gifts will go directly to the Trevor Project.   Please help support this crucial service.  With bullying and violence against the LGBTQ community on the rise, now is best time to give.

To purchase cards and gifts, click here.

If you’d rather just give directly to the organization, you can do so here.

The Olympic Hopeful with Two Dads

This picture caught my eye when I was reading Towle Road yesterday.  Andy Towle wrote, “Do yourselves a favor and head to the Indianapolis Star to read this story…”  I am really glad I did.

With the right wing vilifying the idea of same sex families as unnatural or harmful, it is so great when you get the chance to read something that proves them so very wrong.  What a wonderful story of a loving, normal family who happens to be gay. It sounds like this kid is not only an amazing athlete, but an amazing child as well.  Adopted by his dad, Jerry, who was single at the time, from a Cambodian orphanage, Jordan showed real promise as a diver at an early age.   He will be the grand marshal of the Circle City Indiana Pride Parade this month as well as heading to Seattle for the Olympic trials.  All this, and he appears to be a laid back, humble kid who just takes it all in stride.

Its a sweat story about a very cool family –  I’m guessing we’ll be hearing about him a lot in the future!

 

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